Mami had to work her big fake tetas into Siete’s birthday tribute post

And no beer is an automatic buzzer ring for the foul for any Hispanic kid’s celebration.

Wow its just mental isn’t it that someone with zero Spanish heritage named her ‘ilaria catarina irena’

Happy Birthday “wild monster”. SMH

https://preview.redd.it/39ru7ho0flqd1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d4dacd699abe488f6763c4f6351adbbc1a29fa3

Nothing big anywhere, just fake.

My kid is half-Spanish. I gave him such an “American” name, but his last name is definitely Spanish. By way of New Mexico, all the family were the most wonderful people, and loved me. I even got great grandma’s posole recipe (made with pigs feet). We always had a bit of Spanish “flair” at every party. Served tamales, an auntie in the kitchen on tortilla duty, older cousins who played the accordion, it was always fun. My point is this biotch has absolutely NO claim to the “heritage”. They have such a huge family, yet we see none of them. No friends, no other family

Never a friend at these party’s….

Those kids won’t be able to remember a single birthday, because they are *all* identical. Sloppy, thrown-together, random party store decorations. An ugly cake or two and cupcakes. Only the siblings/not a single friend. Trapped in the apartment. Mom’s boob job out. Dad visiting and looking exhausted. Pose for Instagram.

Copy/Paste/Repeat.

So when the little girl was one , she was an athlete, monster and a comedian. That sounds so precious and lovely for her to look back on when she’s older😬😳

When I look at that baby, the last word I would use to describe her is athletic. Like wtf she still looks like she’s 8 months old. But I digress…..

My god, the tired cupcakes need a memorial service by now. And the ton of plastic at each of these sugar high sessions is overwhelming my senses.

Why does every birthday word salad tribute have to include a dig at the child? “Tiny monster” isn’t cute.

Whats the gloppy cupcake set up? Do the kids only get to eat the few un- iced cupcakes on the periphery? It looks like a container of icing and sprinkles was poured in the middle. What a mess. Again no friends, no relatives, just starving kids and bewbs.

These birthday parties are getting worse and worse. Poor baby nothing matches. She has the green cups from the previous birthday, a Hello Kitty tablecloth and some skeleton plates, huh? Do these people not have proper plates and tablecloths rather than resorting to plastic junk for all these birthdays? Come to think of it I have never seen these children eat with actual china dishes or silverware. They are truly feral.

The lower case spelling is sending me. Didn’t think ahead, did she?🤣

Catalina Wine Mixer still looks 8 months old at 2 years.

Can’t help but notice most of the kids are August/September birthdays. Mami must demand the surrogates get implanted around Christmas time.


The lower case i 🤡

Athletic!!! 🤣🤣🤣

The cake looks like it says “Happy Birthday Larry”

I have no idea why—Mami alleges—the family’s preferred name for Siete, the youngest Guacamolito, is “tiny monster.” Sure, she’s tiny—Hillary’s systemic underfeeding undoubtedly keeps the “last baby” (that we know of) *tiny.* But in what way is the youngest and presumably least-wily of a brood clearly devoid of “street smarts” ensured status as a monster?

Has Siete learned to identify hardened cat feces and re-locate them in appalling locations? Has she chewed a half-piece of Dubble Bubble Gum to a state of slimy perfection, before tucking it behind the ear of a sleeping sibling? If you’re gonna brag on a “tiny monster,” show your work (as any teacher would ask).

Because she all of those children’s birthdays are about her.

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