So my girlfriend told me we could watch a porno for my birthday and do everything that we saw in the video ,
I was so freaking excited, until she fucked the pizza guy. 🙁
, https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ol9kkv/so_my_girlfriend_told_me_we_could_watch_a_porno/ , https://reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ol9kkv/so_my_girlfriend_told_me_we_could_watch_a_porno/ , 1626409923 , , ol9kkv , self.Jokes , 24104 , littleboy_xxxx , , , , , , , littleboy_xxxx , 2021-07-16 04:32:03 , yes , , Prompt, #girlfriend #told #watch #porno #birthday #video, #girlfriend #told #watch #porno #birthday #video, 1730421674, so-my-girlfriend-told-me-we-could-watch-a-porno-for-my-birthday-and-do-everything-that-we-saw-in-the-video
I was so freaking excited, until she fucked the pizza guy. 🙁
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I must say, as a former pizza delivery guy, the closest I got to this was a woman (I’m guessing) was a few years older than me (I was a 17-year-old high school senior) answering the front door with nothing but a towel on. As I rang the doorbell I heard her say, “Oh shit!” and I heard it come from my left. Apparently some housing planner or architect, in their infinite wisdom, thought it would be a great idea to put a bathroom with a window (with some blinders at least) to the left of the front door!
I worked a maintenance job for a timeshare property for years. Lots of regular owners I grew to know. So one afternoon I get a service call for a light that isn’t working. Standard procedure when going into a unit is ring the doorbell 3 times and knock in between. If no one answers the door after that, we’re allowed to enter. So I do the whole thing, no one answers, I enter. Once walking in the front door, I’m using my best authority loud voice “MAINTENANCE, HELLO!” “ANYONE HOME?” No answer whatsoever. I continue to head upstairs while still shouting maintenance. I get to the top of the stairs and turn the corner into the master bedroom/bathroom only to find a full on naked woman in her 70’s shrieking because we’re looking right at each other. I instantly turn around and say “Oh I’m so sorry! I didn’t know that anyone was here, I’ll come back!”. I immediately left the unit in complete shock. Did this woman hear me? How could she not have heard me? All these questions running through my head. So about a half an hour later I get another call saying it’s ok to go back to that unit. I go back yelling even louder than before. No one is there I fix the light, I leave. I head up to the office through the pool area and there’s the woman, grinning at me with this weird look.
This continued for the duration of her stay anytime I saw her.
Probably the most uncomfortable experience I’ve had at work in my life.
I was the pizza guy. One front door I was about to knock on was next to the living room window. The curtains were not quite closed. He was on his back, she was on her knees, and I was obviously not expected just yet.
Just seconds after I rang the bell the door flew open, she handed me a wad of cash, tore the food out of my hands and slammed the door again.
I contemplated ringing again to give her change, but decided I’d better not.
**Quahog Pastor**: You are no longer welcome here，Lois Griffin!
**Lois**: But Father，I’ve been an active member of this church for…
**Quahog Pastor**: Leve this house of God!
**Lois**: But I love the church. It’s an important thing of my life.
**Quahog Pastor**: Maybe you should have thought of that before you made a porn.
**Lois**: But father，I didn’t mea…wait，did you say a porn?
**Quahog Pastor**: Yes.**Lois**: Oh. Well，that’s kind of weird.
**Quahog Pastor**: What?
**Lois**: Well，I mean you gotta say you made porn or you made a porno. You do not say ‟made a porn,” it hits the ear wrong.
**Quahog Pastor**: Oh，God，have I been saying it wrong this whole time?
That was a long time ago these days the experiment would have been less enjoying as getting your hand stuck in the sofa fucking hurts and she would have banged her step brother.
I’m a lucky guy 😉
So glazier here. A long time ago before I joined the Navy I was a 21yr old tradesman installing a glass skylight into the bathroom of a well off gentleman on the northern beaches of Sydney. Once we had got it in it was a bit late to start sealing it up so we covered the opening in a tarp and I said I’d return the next day to silicon it up. Next morning rock on up to old mates place, and the wife answered. She told me he was out and I could go up and finish the job. 10 minutes into the sealing job she comes in, nudes up and has a shower for me to see. I did think about asking if she needed a hand but I just got on with the job so I could get out of there. She had a tidy body for a late 50’s woman.
Your next move is to shag her sister, obviously.
I have had gals call me to help me with their plumbing….and I fix the plumbing…obviously not watching the same movies as I am
This sounds like your fault, this is exactly why I keep my pizza place uniform.
Alternative punched up punchline:
It was going great untill *I* started fucking the pizza guy.
Good thing you didn’t get animal farm
Well, imagine there would be two girls, somehow involving a cup..
My girlfriend and I made the same deal, I was pretty stoked until I heard a knock on the door. I answered it, it was my girlfriends stepbrother. Then I heard my girlfriend yell from the other room that she’s stuck in the washing machine.
Well, ya know, you coulda fucked the pizza guy 😉
In the eternal words of Admiral Akbar….. ITS A TRAP!
Beastiality would be worse!
I was hoping you both joined the FBI and went out to find bootlegs and to check people’s IDs to ensure they were over 18
where do i sign up for pizza delivery guy?
Then she asked me to fix the bloody washing machine.
Also, we didn’t order any pizza… and the pizza guy looks an awful lot like the guy she works with that she always tells me not to worry about…
I delivered pizzas in the late 90’s and there was a stripper that would answer the door topless and tip well. She would order about twice a week. Unfortunately the guys would fight over the delivery when the address would show up and I never got to deliver there.